A Fallen Angel

Updated: Mar 24, 2020

”...there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien

You’re terrified, you’re scared, you’re all alone,

An unsettling peace captures your soul,

You look out the window, you’re watching the snow,

You welcome the pain; you smile, you laugh, but in silence, you weep,

Your mind bends and breaks; you’re ready to go,

You scream, yes you scream, but no one can see; no one can hear the secrets you keep,

You look all around, but the shadows they roam; they laugh, and they whisper; they’re monstrous beings,

But it’s strange, so peculiar, so funny and queer because in darkness YOU whisper; YOU resemble hideous things,

They’re gone, they’re gone… everyone is gone.

Finally, you see that no one will care, so again you whisper alone, “Life is not fair,”

You’ve fought and you’ve fought, you’ve borne all along,

The turmoil, the doubt, the sadness; the pain,

You’re holding and watching the glamorous steel; you press it deeply, the razor blade,

Against your soft and weakened skin,

The blood it drips, crimson; it drips again,

It’s cold, it’s dark, it’s so lonely,

No pain, no guilt, you think you’re free,

You see your body, it’s still; empty.

You’re drifting you’re leaving and saying goodbye,

From darkness, you hear the screams and the cries,

Not one, not two — it’s more than three,

You thought you were right, that you knew what to do,

But your friends and your family they really loved you,

You forgot; no—ignored the tears you would bring,

And now they’re all crying, their eyes are burning; they sting.

I’m forgotten, I’m gone, I’m numb and I’m lost, a memory, A gravestone is all that’s left of me, I wish I would have spoken the things I felt, Maybe then they could have helped. I hear them at night in my restless dreams, “Rest in peace; go to sleep, We pray to God your soul he should keep.” When it’s gone, it’s gone; there’s no going back, It’s cold and I’m lonely; I’m sad—all I see is the black, I once was an angel who hid all the tears and lost my way, Be happy, be grateful; you’re living today.

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